Diagrams of my Heart
--
~ what it is ~
My heart is a net
which catches this and that…
It gathers
unanswered prayers
which shroud the sun.
And makes the sun’s face
molten gold again…
daggers of love
thrust deep in my heart
begin and end in it
I shake them off,
those daggers
but it brings them back.
They are home, my heart says.
But I don’t want them,
I reply
My heart is a conch,
home to oceans of sighs.
As they swirl inside
— mad dervishes —
they leave curlicues of perfumed ink …
My heart is a ball of barbed wire
a tired trap.
Fleeing desires leave
shreds of flesh on it.
They sway in smoky breezes —
Love’s fugitives
must leave mementos behind…
My heart is a patient cistern.
Don’t drink the water, it cautions
salt of tears swims in it.
It never empties,
just fills and fills
My heart is Cerberus,
always starved.
It snaps up bits of my soul
as they float by
like languid butterflies
My heart is a thirst.
When sated it
it can be mistaken for a full moon…
Promises not kept turn my heart
into a child who never smiles
Expansive and open,
my heart is a sin eater.
Every day it dies a little
so that others may live.
My heart is a collector —
it gathers rags and broken glass
mistaking them for
daffodils and marigolds.
In the presence of beauty
such as sphinxes, brides and kind people
it catches its breath.
Such magnificence, my heart exclaims!
My heart is a seeker
easily lost.
But what blinds the mind
my heart can see.
When it stops its hum and thud,
lup and dub and is silenced on earth
heavens will hold another star…
Farida Haque
